Building Strong Foundations: How to Practice RIE Parenting with Your Child
What is RIE Parenting?
Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE) is a respectful, thoughtful approach to raising infants and toddlers that emphasizes treating young children as capable, competent, and active participants in their own development. Developed by Magda Gerber in the 1970s, the RIE philosophy is grounded in the belief that children, from infancy onward, should be given the time, space, and respect to grow at their own pace, with caregivers acting as supportive guides rather than directors.
At the heart of RIE is a deep trust in the child’s natural developmental process, and a commitment to providing a consistent, predictable environment where the child feels safe and free to explore, learn, and grow. This approach values observation, presence, and patience in caregiving.
The 7 Principles of RIE Parenting:
- Respect for the Child
At the core of RIE is the belief that children are competent, capable individuals from the moment they are born. This means treating them with the same respect you would offer an adult—listening to them, acknowledging their feelings, and recognizing their inherent abilities. This includes involving children in everyday caregiving tasks, like diaper changes and feeding. By explaining what you’re doing and inviting them to participate, children feel part of the process and respected. Every interaction with your child is an opportunity to build trust, help children understand the world around them, and affirm their worth and dignity. - Encouraging Independence
RIE emphasizes the importance of giving children the space to explore, experiment, and solve problems on their own, while offering guidance when needed. RIE supports the idea that children develop self-confidence and problem-solving skills when they are trusted to take the lead and work through challenges independently, without unnecessary interference. - Observation
One of the most powerful tools in RIE parenting is observation. Rather than assuming you know what your child needs, RIE encourages you to quietly observe their behaviors, needs, and emotional states. This helps you respond thoughtfully, rather than react impulsively. By observing, you can better meet their needs without over-anticipating or assuming, allowing the child to take the lead in their own learning and growth. - Natural Learning and Development
RIE advocates for a child’s natural developmental rhythm. It encourages caregivers to refrain from imposing adult expectations or forcing milestones. Instead, the focus is on creating a nurturing environment where children can explore and learn at their own pace, whether it’s crawling, walking, or learning how to speak. This principle helps parents embrace the unpredictability of a child’s journey and trust in the process. - Consistency and Clear Limits
Children need a predictable environment with clear boundaries in order to feel safe and secure. RIE promotes creating a stable environment where children feel secure and know what to expect: this is especially important during daily rituals, like meal times, nap times, and diaper changes. RIE focuses on setting consistent limits in a calm, firm manner, rather than using punitive measures. Discipline in RIE is about guiding behavior with respect, not controlling it. - Providing a Calm, Uncluttered Environment and Uninterrupted Play Time
An overstimulating environment can overwhelm young children. RIE encourages creating a peaceful, minimalist space that supports focus, exploration, and calm. Toys and materials are selected with intention, and the goal is to foster independent play and self-directed exploration, rather than stimulating or distracting children with excessive toys or media. In a world full of distractions, RIE emphasizes the importance of giving children long periods of uninterrupted play that enable your child to explore their environment, develop creativity, and gain confidence in their abilities. - Partnership Between Parents and Children
RIE believes that the relationship between parent and child is built on mutual respect and collaboration. Parents are not just authority figures—they are guides, supporters, and active participants in their child’s growth and learning. By communicating openly and responding to the child’s needs with empathy and consistency, parents build a collaborative relationship where both parties feel heard, valued, and understood.
RIE in Action:
One of the best aspects of RIE parenting is how practical it can be! Putting RIE into practice can look different depending on your child’s age and developmental stage. Below are some examples of how simple this approach can be put into practice.
For Infants:
- Respectful Caregiving: For an infant, RIE practices begin with respect during routine caregiving activities, such as diaper changes, feeding, and bathing. Rather than seeing these moments as mere “tasks,” RIE encourages you to engage with the child by talking to them, explaining what’s happening, and allowing them to be a part of the process.
- For example, during a diaper change, you might say, "I’m going to change your diaper now. I will lift you up and then put you down on your back."
- Observation: You observe your infant to understand their needs and emotional state, so you can respond with more sensitivity. If your baby is fussy or tired, you can adapt your actions or even give them space to self-soothe, trusting that they have the ability to calm themselves when given the opportunity.
- Free Movement: Infants are encouraged to move freely on the floor, exploring their own bodies and the world around them. Rather than using restrictive equipment like bouncers or walkers, RIE advocates for giving babies the freedom to roll, crawl, and discover movement at their own pace.
- Creating a Calm, Simple Space: Your infant’s environment is kept simple and uncluttered, allowing them to focus on their developing skills and surroundings without overstimulation. You might use a play mat, soft toys, and simple sensory objects, but avoid flashing lights or electronic toys that demand attention.
For Toddlers (1-3 years old):
- Encouraging Independence: As toddlers grow, the focus shifts toward fostering greater independence. RIE encourages toddlers to make choices, such as deciding what clothes to wear or what food to eat. You can empower them to express preferences in ways that feel respectful and empowering.
- Respecting Their Autonomy: Toddlers, especially as they begin asserting their independence, often want to do things for themselves. RIE encourages this autonomy, even if it means allowing them to struggle or take longer to complete tasks. Whether it’s putting on their own shoes or pouring their own water, RIE believes in the importance of letting toddlers have a hand in their day-to-day activities.
- Encouraging Play as Learning: Play is a critical part of a toddler's learning process, and RIE encourages open-ended play, such as building with blocks or pretending with dolls. Instead of providing toys with predefined outcomes (like toys that talk or sing), RIE supports toys and materials that allow for creativity and problem-solving.
- Natural Consequences: RIE parents allow their toddlers to experience the natural consequences of their actions. For example, if a toddler throws their toy, they may not be allowed to play with it for a while. This teaches them to respect their environment and the objects within it.
While no parenting philosophy is one-size-fits-all, RIE parenting offers a refreshing and compassionate approach to raising children by focusing on respect, trust, and the recognition of a child’s natural ability to learn and grow. By providing a calm, predictable environment, setting clear boundaries, and allowing children the freedom to explore at their own pace, RIE fosters a strong sense of independence, confidence, and emotional security. Whether it’s through simple daily interactions or encouraging creative play, this philosophy emphasizes partnership and collaboration between parents and children, guiding them toward becoming thoughtful, capable individuals. When put into practice, RIE can create a strong, trusting foundation that will serve both you and your child as you navigate this incredible, ever-evolving journey of parenthood together.
Want to learn more about RIE? Check out these resources!
RIE: https://rie.org/
Magda Gerber: https://magdagerber.org/
